“Do You Love Me?

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I recently caught a snippet of a radio broadcast featuring an interview with several men who were asked which holiday or special celebration of the year they enjoyed most and least.  The men were obviously American, since Thanksgiving was at the top of their list, because it includes football!  There were varying opinions on Halloween and Christmas, but what caught my attention was the general agreement that Valentine’s Day is the worst day of the year for men.  They didn’t say it this way, but along with having to shop for cards and gifts, and arranging special dates, many men feel it’s a day for women that leaves men with their pockets picked!  Most of all, men don’t relate to the warm fuzzy feelings that women call love.  The little I heard, though not surprising and perhaps stereotypical, made me think.  What is love?

Peter came to mind.  Jesus had been arrested, and while He was being questioned by the High Priest, Peter denied three times that he knew Him.  After His resurrection, Jesus appears to Peter and six other disciples while they are fishing.  Jesus prepares breakfast for them and then turns to Peter and asks him three versions of the same question, “Do you love me?”  Each time Peter strongly affirms, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you,” to which Jesus replies, “Feed my lambs…Take care of my sheep…Feed my sheep.”  Jesus wanted Peter to show His love by doing something – by obeying Him.

John 14 records Jesus teaching about love in general terms that include you and me: “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me…and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

Love isn’t warm fuzzy feelings that make men dread Valentine’s Day, or, as I’ve been given to understand,  that make men stay away from church. Don’t get me wrong, girls, there’s nothing wrong with warm fuzzy feelings, but the bottom line for all of us is that love is obeying Jesus, and He says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Love isn’t primarily a feeling;  it’s an action – doing what Jesus says, whether it’s for Him or others –  and whether or not we have warm fuzzy feelings!   The question Jesus asked Peter still begs to be answered today:  “Do you love me?”




man wearing blue crew neck t shirt holding girl near mountains

I awoke with anxiety.  I didn’t know whence it came,  but it was definitely there – a tight knot in my lower abdomen.  I knew God was the answer and all I had to do was pray,  but words didn’t come easily.  Then I thought of David’s example in many of the Psalms.  He didn’t wait to formulate a beautiful ACTS prayer – beginning with Adoration, followed by Confession and Thanksgiving, and ending with Supplications; rather, pushing past the how-to’s that seem to work better when all is well,  David rushed unceremoniously into the throne room of his Helper:

Save me, O God… Psalm 54

Listen to my prayer,  O God… Psalm 55

Be merciful to me,  my God… Psalm 56

Deliver me from my enemies… Psalm 59

Then, almost as inexplicable as the anxiety itself, out of my innermost being and into my anxious thoughts came God’s living word – Hebrews 4:16, which I had memorized years before:

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace,

that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

“Come boldly…throne of grace…obtain mercy…find grace…help in time of need.” As one might do when tasting an exotic dessert too delicious to swallow,  I rolled the words around and over the anxiety within me, savouring their power and promise, reading them in context and realizing afresh that “therefore” refers to the fact that Jesus our high priest is touched with the feeling of our infirmities and was in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin.   Release came.  My response spilled into a simple poem:


No pretty prayers to offer

a desperate child


running, tripping, calling Your Name

Eyes wide, arms outstretched


words jumbling, tumbling out



Bending down,  lifting me up

You listen

You understand

You help

This time and every time

Dear reader, do you suffer from anxiety?  Does it catch you unawares?  Does it invade your sleep or darken your days?  Your experience may not be the same as  the one I’ve shared, but I pray that these few lines will encourage you to run BOLDLY to God to find help in your time of need.





The Place or The Way?

one way road sign and empty staircase

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t concerned about knowing the will of God for my life.  I think it was born and bred in me by my parents, who were new Christians, then nourished by a small but strong church with a vision for missions.  However it came about, I have always had a deep desire to know where God wanted me to be and what He wanted me to be doing.  I received fresh light on this matter as I was recently reading John 14.

Jesus told His disciples, 

 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going. 

Obviously, the “place” and the “where” are very important.  Jesus is revealing His plans, His will for the disciples (and, yes, even for us), but when He assures them that they know the way, they are bewildered. Thomas spoke for all of them when  he argued,

Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?

Jesus’ reply came as the one, simple, yet complete answer to all my questions about knowing His will and where I should be or what I should be doing”:

I am the way…

I suddenly realized that I don’t need to know the “place” (the specific will of God),  I just need the Way.   As He leads me, His plans and purposes will unfold, and together we will arrive at the place(s) He has for me.

Jesus, the Way, this word has taken a huge load off my mind; may it find a permanent resting place in my spirit!













sky sunset person silhouette

On a strictly human plane I owe my inspiration for this page to Nick Vujicic and the faithful blogger who suggested that her readers find him on the internet.  Nick is a man who for no medically identifiable reason  was born without arms and legs, and who against all odds has become a happy husband, father and motivational speaker who travels the world.  I was so impressed by what I saw and heard that I took notes.  One particular declaration reverberated in my heart, because I remember sharing with a friend and saying something very similar.  Nick put it this way:

I am not a man without arms and legs; I am a child of God;  I am forgiven of my sins; I am an ambassador of the King of kings and Lord of lords; I am nothing but a servant of the Most High God…Whatever Jesus conquered, I conquer.

In response to this conquering Truth, I offer the following poem of sorts:


You are not defined by your condition

physical,  mental,  or financial

You are not defined by your abilities or limitations

Your talents or gifts,  your successes or failures

You are not defined by your age

You are not defined by your height or your weight

you are not defined by your flawless complexion or your disfigurement

You are not defined by your hair,  your nose, your ears or your feet

You are not defined by the mirror

You are not defined by your education or employment

your house, your vehicle, or other possessions

You are not defined by your marital status

Your fertility or infertility

You are not defined by the opinions negative or positive of  your spouse

Your  mother-in-law,  your friends or your enemies

You are not defined by your own fluctuating  self-evaluations

You are defined by the Creator of the universe

Who looks from you to the crucified, risen, ascended and returning Christ

and declares you His child





Long and burdensome would be a list of ways we define ourselves and allow ourselves to be defined; but the right to define rests with God alone, and since He alone defines rightly, let us surrender our lists to Him, and allow His Truth to define our lives.

References:  1 John 1:9; Ephesians 1:6; 1 Thessalonians 5:23,24

From a Dream to Debridement

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I love it when the Lord takes me on a journey, as He did recently.  It started with a disturbing dream that awakened old memories and deep emotions.  I began thinking about wounds and how crucial it is to forgive those who have hurt us.  And somehow i found myself travelling over 40 years back in time to an isolation room where my little niece was hospitalized with second and third degree burns on her leg from backing into a  hot vaporizer.  She was there for quite some time, and I was there mostly as relief so my sister could look after things at home.  I remembered how the nurses took care of her leg:  in full sterile garb, including gloves and masks,  they would enter the room carrying their stainless steel trays of scissors, tweezers, gauze,etc.  My niece  would scream and,  through our tears,  we would try to comfort and calm her  as they carefully removed dead crusty skin and dabbed at the fresh blood…

Those memories took me to the internet where I added a new word to my vocabulary: debridement (pronounced  de-breed-ment), according to Winchester Hospital,  is the removal of unhealthy tissue from a wound to promote healing.  The process can be done several ways and for the following reasons: to remove tissue contaminated by bacteria, foreign tissue, dead cells, or crusting; to create a neat wound edge to decrease scarring; to aid in the healing of very severe burns or pressure sores; to get a sample of tissue for testing and diagnosis.

The journey made more sense as all these thoughts came together.  In Christian circles – at least,  in my circle of Christians – when emotional wounds are mentioned , we often begin to entertain the idea that unforgiveness  may be the problem.  As I considered my dream in the light of my niece’s burns and the daily debridement of her wounds, I realized that my pain wasn’t due to unforgiveness; rather, it was evidence that God cares for me enough to faithfully debride my  wounded heart of  spiritual contaminants and crust, of foreign tissue and dead cells (attitudes toward myself and others) that if left on their own would  surely hinder my health  and leave me with unsightly and unnecessary scars.

Thank you, Lord, for the journey!  Thank you for removing unhealthy tissue!  Though the process is painful, I welcome your debridement.

Faith to Start Home

person standing on arrow

John 4 recounts the story of the king’s officer who went to find Jesus and begged Him to return home with him to heal his son, who was at the point of death.  Jesus told him rather bluntly that he was just looking for signs and miracles, and if he didn’t see them, he would never believe.  The officer pleaded all the more, “Sir, do come down at once before my child is dead!”  Jesus didn’t give him a sign or even offer to go with him; He simply gave him a word, a short command accompanied by a brief promise:  “Go in peace; your son will live!”  The officer’s response to that word is astounding: with no suggestion of offense or disappointment, he unhesitatingly “put his trust in what Jesus said and started home.”  Yes!  He started home with only a word from Jesus to put faith in his heart and confidence in his steps!  And before he got home, his servants met him and reported that his son was well, and upon questioning them, he realized that his son had begun to recover at the very hour that Jesus had given him the word – the very hour when he had started home!

John 20 tells us about Thomas insisting on seeing the nail prints in Jesus’ hands and touching His side.  When Jesus gave Thomas the opportunity to touch Him and believe, Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, Thomas, do you now believe (trust, have faith)?  Blessed and happy and to be envied are those who have never seen Me and yet have believed and adhered to and trusted and relied on Me.”

Lord, give me a heart to seek You, ears to hear You,  and faith to start home!  Let me be among the blessed, who believe though they have never seen, whose faith is activated and sustained solely by a word from you!




yellow steel bathtub

Eureka! According to Wikipedia, it’s an interjection used to celebrate a discovery or invention, attributed to Archimedes’ of Syracuse (288 -212 BC),  who was perhaps the greatest scientist in antiquity.  Legend has it that when he stepped into a bath and noticed that the level of water rose, he suddenly understood that the volume of water displaced must be equal  to the volume of the part of his body he had submerged,  whereupon he is said to have been so eager to share his discovery that he leaped out of his bathtub and ran naked through the streets of Syracuse, crying “Eureka! Eureka!” .  This scientific principle explains why  a dirty ring forms around the tub at a certain level when one grubby grandson takes his bath, and why  another dirty ring forms at a higher level when the second grubby grandson joins him.   It also justifies the  lesson in Home Economics when the teacher taught us to use the water displacement method to accurately measure quantities of solid fats like shortening and butter.  Needless to say, I can’t remember when I last used it, as I’ve long since discovered – Eureka! Eureka!- that quantities don’t have to be so exact!

What brought all this to mind ?  John 3: 25-31.  The disciples of John the Baptist shared with him their concern that “everybody” was flocking to Jesus while John himself was losing followers.  John replied with both spiritual insight and exemplary humility.  Recognizing that God is sovereign, that He rules the universe, John assured his disciples that “A man can receive nothing except as it has been granted to him from heaven.”  In other words, if the popularity of Jesus was growing at the expense of John’s, it was God’s doing, and John was content with it.  He knew he wasn’t the Christ, and he had no need to be more than the forerunner God had appointed him to be. He didn’t have to be the bridegroom; his joy was complete in being the groomsman.  With straightforward simplicity he summarized what should be the guiding principle of every believer:  “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

We can’t have it both ways.  If we want Christ to increase in our lives, we have to decrease.  Like Archimedes, my grandsons, and solid fat, we have to go down in order for Him to go up.  It’s all very scientific, but what does it mean in practical terms?  How do we decrease in a way that will allow Christ to increase?

Have you ever waited in line for something and let someone else go ahead of you?  Of course you have!  We all have!  It’s called being polite, kind, or thoughtful, and it’s what this principle is all about – being spiritually polite, kind, and thoughtful.  Put simply, we decrease when we put God first (His will and His way) each and every day; when we honour and prefer others over ourselves (Romans 12:10); and when we are like John, not estimating or thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought (Romans 12:3).

Naked Archimedes isn’t the only one to discover exciting, irrefutable and  practical truths.  Dear christian, keep your clothes, but do celebrate the discovery; apply and eagerly share John’s Principle of Increase and Decrease! Eureka! Eureka!  Eureka!